Computers as Teachers

A teacher is a person who provides education for pupils and students, while a computer is a machine that can give you information in seconds with a direct connection to the network. I think that computers can not replace at any day and at any time a teacher- a real living creature.

First, a machine can not ever replace a person due to the fact that the transfer(ww.) of information directly to people makes the information more reliable, more relevant and interesting.For example, when students learn their language - it is only a pearsom who knows better the shape of the tongue in speech rules while machines are not a reliable source to learn from.

Second, when a student asks a question, a person can provide the answer in the most accurate way with the best answer in the easiest way to understand. While a machine, will know one way of explaining would not be able to answer the student's question in the easiest way.

In conclusion, we can see that a good person learn and more effectively than machines.Thats why replacing the teachers with machines will never be effective and in my opinion will never take place.

However, It's not bad at all. I even detect an improvement.

(82)

Daphna

drive license

Today, young people are involved in the most fatal accidents. As a result, an organization of accident victims has proposed that that the age for getting a driver's license should be raised to 19. I really believe that this suggestion will reduce the number of victims in traffic collisions.

At the age of 19, a person is more mature than a person at the age of 18. The maturity of that person will be seen in the way he drives. The more mature you are the more carefully you drive. If the age of getting a drive's license will be raised young people(?) then the number of road accident will dicrease.

Changing the driver licensing age, will show that the number of victims in road accidents is true. Moreover, this will show that young teenagers really drive too carelessly, because they do not pay much attention to how they drive and their life could end in a moment of reckless driving.

Finally, this proposal of the organization of accident victims will not only protect and save lives of teens, but of all people, kids and adults.

(65)

Daphna

Internet ant Communication

These days the Internet has changed our lives. It has been(מיותר) entered our lives and take(gr. - taken) a very important place in many domains, from friendships to work. Some people will say that the Internet has many advantages and it improves our lives, while others say that it is very dangerous.

On the one hand, the Internet has many benefits. It allows a better communication between humans(ww. - people), by connecting twenty four hours, seven days a week. The Internet is available all the time, it's easy to use and (it) saves time in business or replacing(ww. - transferring) information from different places in the world. In addition,the Internet offers a lot of spare time activaties, like social networks, games and the opportunity to get some knowledge about things we are interested in.

On the other hand, the information people can find on the Internet can be very confusing and unreal. Today, anyone can enter any information he wants to the Internet without anyone who(מיותר) checking(ww. - supervising) it. This causes false and misleading information to be posted and misleading the(מיותר) . Furthermore, in the Internet can be a tremendous experience(phr.) that can lead to physical violence that sometimes can be ended(gr.- end) in murder. The opportunity to get connected with people from all over the world can make people meet some dangerous people.

Finally, we can see that along the benefits of the Internet, there are olso many dangers. In my opinion, in order to benefit from technology, there is the need to be aware and use the Internet wisely and not get(ww.) in contact with people we do not know.

This is much better. Good work!

(85)

Daphna

Matriculation exams

Matriculation exams are tests about material loaded for one or two years(phr.). There are two dates of exams. In the Winter time, held in January and February and a summer time held in May , June and July. Matriculation exams create enormous pressure among students and do not reflect the student's knowledge.

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I disapprove of the statement that the Matriculation exams do reflect the student's knowledge, Because(מיותר) (Strat a new sentence here) the little time (between exams) and (the) pressure during the exam butters(ww.) the student to express his knowledge. The sort of time make a preasure on the student and make him hurry to finish his test,what make mass in the student head(very badly phrased. Try again).

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There are several ways to test the student's know(ww.). First, you can do oral examinations performed by outside examiner(s) and the student will be tested on smaller (amounts of) material every three months. Moreover, there are subjects where you can do practical exams that the student will be able to do only if he studies the material. Practical tests will decrease the pressure to the student.(phr.- the students' pressure). That means, if the students really understand the material there is no reason that he will(מיותר) not (to) succeed in the exam.

.

In conclusion, the matriculation exams do not reflect the real knowledge of the student and in order to see the students' full knowledge of(מיותר), the education(al) system should do some changes in order to see the student's knowledge(phr. - don't repeat the same sentence over and over again, find another way to say it)

(75)

Daphna

Friendship

When I think of the term "Friend", the first thing that comes to mind is trust. Trust, in every relationship is very helpful, without trust between you and your friend how you can(wo.) tell him something about your personal life.

A friend should be someone that you can feel comfortable with(ww. - in) his compny and know that no matter what he will be there for you. That means that if you do not have this feeling you can not naturally come to your friend and talk with him about every little thing, because friendship is estublish(gr. - established) on trust.

But, the most important feature of a friend should be his ability to maintain the privacy of the other. Actually, he is supposed to keep your secrets and everything you tell him should be kept between both of you,(New sentence) that means that if you tell your friend something this(ww. - it is) suppossed to be(ww. - remain) between your(מיותר) both, like a sacret(sp.) that people (verb?) between themselves.

Finally, I think that a friendship is like an agreement between the(ww. - two) people. this agreement saied(ww. +gr.) that one side (is) commited not to hurt the other side and do everything he can in order to keep your privacy and honor.

"You are ,My Friend,my companion,through good times and bad my friend, my buddy,through happy and sad,beside me you stand, beside me you walk,you are there to listen,you are there to talk,with happiness, with smiles,with pain and tears,I know you will be there,throughout the years!" (Facebook)

This is better. Good work.

(80)

Daphna

Formal Letter

12th Bialik street

Holon.

April 15th 2010.

See the World agency,

N.O. 9562

New-York, NY.

Dear Sir./Madam,

My name is Dana. I am 24 years old and I have just complited my degree in Psycology. I am interested in an organized tour to the United Stated with an English-speaking guide.

I would like to have an adventurous tour that will include places like "Diseny World" park , "Wet 'n Wild" and the "Busch Gardens". Moreover, I would like to take part in mountains clambing and ice-skating, if it's possible. Furthermore, I would be gratfull if the tour would include some caltural things, like museums.

I would like to know about the hotels we will stay in and the specific places we will trevel in. Moreover, it will be nice to know how we will move from one place to another.

I look forward to a prompt replay.

Truly yours,

Dana Alin.

Nice and simple. Well done!

(90)

Daphna

FORMAL LETTER

42 Bialik Street,

Holon,

April 4th, 2010.

The Manager

YourVoice station

12 Shazar Street,

Holon.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I'm writing you because I would like to suggest a format for a program for your station. The show will focus on teenagers and their problems, The teenagers will send faxes or phone the radio station and discribe their problem and the program will try to find them a solution.

The idea for the program came from all the problems that exist in their lives and the difficultiy to talk about them. The teens will call the program and express their feelings, The idea of the program came from their personality that dont let them express themselfs infront of familer faces.

Moreover, in the show teenagers will get the feeling that someone is really interested in their lives and really wanted to help them. Furthermore, through the radio other teens, that might have the same problem will be able to listen and learn from the advice.

\

\

I look forward to a prompt reply.

\

\

Yours truly,

Dana Lev.

(70)

Daphna

The last trip my classmates and I went on was to "Migal". The trip took place on January 11th and 12th, 2010. "Migal" is a research center that is located in Tel-Hai.I really had a good time there.


When we arrived at)the research center we entered a lecture about the human body in biology. (New sentence) after that we made our own brindash, that by the way was very tasty. Later on, we went to the "Tel Hai Hostel", At night we had another session, but this time about chimestry, we had a lot of experiments even those who glow in the dark.

In(ww. - On) the second day, we came back to "Migal" and we had another lectures(מיותר) such as(ww. - about) the effections(מיותר) of the pomegranate on our health and brain, then we has(ww + gr.) some(ww. - an) experiment about sugar. Before we go(gr.) back to Holon, we went(ww. - visited) to (the) winery of "Ramat Hagolan" , there(ww. - where) we saw all the long process that the wine need(gr.) to pass(ww.) untile he go out for sales(phr. - until it is ready to go out to the market) .

Finally, I had a great time there and also learn(gr.) a lot of interesting things, like that the pomergranate help(gr.) to engine(ww. - prevent) cancer.

(60)
Daphna

Letter of Complaint

26 Senkar street,

Holon

March 1st, 2010

EasyGo travel agnecy,

12 Bialik street

Tel-Aviv.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have been traveling with your agency for almost 10 years and I have always been satisfied, but the latest trip I went to(ww. - on) was taribble(sp.-terrible). It was exactly reversed from what was poblished(sp.-published) in your website. Inspite of recieving a 5 stars hotel as you said, we were given a lame hotel that has(ww+gr. -was) nearly(ww. - not even) 3 stars, and our guide's explainations weren't clear enough.

As I said, when we arived(sp.) at the hotel we discoverd, suprisingly, that the hotel we were given was dirty, the beds in the rooms were unsutiably (sp. - unsuitable) for sleeping. Moreover, when we wanted to get into our showers we discoverd that there was cold water and there was no light at(ww. - on) the first day we stay in(מיותר).

Furthermore, our tour guide was very moody and whenever we asked him any question about any site, he didn't answer and if we asked him to go to any(ww.) site that was mentioned in your website, he just ingnored us.

To conclude, I hope this unhappy experience would not be(מיותר) repited(sp.+gr. - repeat) itself. Also, your company will be needed(phr. - I expect your company...) to give me some compensation for the grift(sp.) I had.

I look forward to a prompt replay.

Truly yours,

Tom Shild.

Better

(75)

Daphna

5 Bareket Street

Holon

February 3ed. 2010

Teens' Hotline
26 Borochove Sreet
Tel-Aviv

Dear Sir/Madam,



I would like to volunteer to your organization, "Teens' Hotline" which, as I read last week, helps teenagers with any problems in their lives.

I'm aproaching you because your association concluds all the things that I'm good at, and as I said I really want to volunteer to your organization. When ever any of my friends needs me I'm there to support them and give them advice, that I think will help them solve their problems.

Moreover, apart from giving them advice, I also know to keep their secrets. I see in your organization the opportunity to do what I love, listenning to people's problems and giving them advice and also helping teenagers in their lives.

I look forward to your reply.

Yours truly,
Anna Alias.

It's still too short and too general, but better.

(80)

Daphna