My Happiness LiFe

Computers as Teachers

2010-12-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

A teacher is a person who provides education for pupils and students, while a computer is a machine that can give you information in seconds with a direct connection to the network. I think that computers can not replace at any day and at any time a teacher- a real living creature.

First, a machine can not ever replace a person due to the fact that the transfer(ww.) of information directly to people makes the information more reliable, more relevant and interesting.For example, when students learn their language - it is only a pearsom who knows better the shape of the tongue in speech rules while machines are not a reliable source to learn from.

Second, when a student asks a question, a person can provide the answer in the most accurate way with the best answer in the easiest way to understand. While a machine, will know one way of explaining would not be able to answer the student's question in the easiest way.

In conclusion, we can see that a good person learn and more effectively than machines.Thats why replacing the teachers with machines will never be effective and in my opinion will never take place.

However, It's not bad at all. I even detect an improvement.

(82)

Daphna

drive license

2010-11-03T23:20:00.000-07:00

Today, young people are involved in the most fatal accidents. As a result, an organization of accident victims has proposed that that the age for getting a driver's license should be raised to 19. I really believe that this suggestion will reduce the number of victims in traffic collisions.

At the age of 19, a person is more mature than a person at the age of 18. The maturity of that person will be seen in the way he drives. The more mature you are the more carefully you drive. If the age of getting a drive's license will be raised young people(?) then the number of road accident will dicrease.

Changing the driver licensing age, will show that the number of victims in road accidents is true. Moreover, this will show that young teenagers really drive too carelessly, because they do not pay much attention to how they drive and their life could end in a moment of reckless driving.

Finally, this proposal of the organization of accident victims will not only protect and save lives of teens, but of all people, kids and adults.

(65)

Daphna

Internet ant Communication

2010-10-06T23:24:00.000-07:00

These days the Internet has changed our lives. It has been(מיותר) entered our lives and take(gr. - taken) a very important place in many domains, from friendships to work. Some people will say that the Internet has many advantages and it improves our lives, while others say that it is very dangerous.

On the one hand, the Internet has many benefits. It allows a better communication between humans(ww. - people), by connecting twenty four hours, seven days a week. The Internet is available all the time, it's easy to use and (it) saves time in business or replacing(ww. - transferring) information from different places in the world. In addition,the Internet offers a lot of spare time activaties, like social networks, games and the opportunity to get some knowledge about things we are interested in.

On the other hand, the information people can find on the Internet can be very confusing and unreal. Today, anyone can enter any information he wants to the Internet without anyone who(מיותר) checking(ww. - supervising) it. This causes false and misleading information to be posted and misleading the(מיותר) . Furthermore, in the Internet can be a tremendous experience(phr.) that can lead to physical violence that sometimes can be ended(gr.- end) in murder. The opportunity to get connected with people from all over the world can make people meet some dangerous people.

Finally, we can see that along the benefits of the Internet, there are olso many dangers. In my opinion, in order to benefit from technology, there is the need to be aware and use the Internet wisely and not get(ww.) in contact with people we do not know.

This is much better. Good work!

(85)

Daphna

Matriculation exams

2010-09-11T04:48:00.000-07:00

Matriculation exams are tests about material loaded for one or two years(phr.). There are two dates of exams. In the Winter time, held in January and February and a summer time held in May , June and July. Matriculation exams create enormous pressure among students and do not reflect the student's knowledge.

I disapprove of the statement that the Matriculation exams do reflect the student's knowledge, Because(מיותר) (Strat a new sentence here) the little time (between exams) and (the) pressure during the exam butters(ww.) the student to express his knowledge. The sort of time make a preasure on the student and make him hurry to finish his test,what make mass in the student head(very badly phrased. Try again).

There are several ways to test the student's know(ww.). First, you can do oral examinations performed by outside examiner(s) and the student will be tested on smaller (amounts of) material every three months. Moreover, there are subjects where you can do practical exams that the student will be able to do only if he studies the material. Practical tests will decrease the pressure to the student.(phr.- the students' pressure). That means, if the students really understand the material there is no reason that he will(מיותר) not (to) succeed in the exam.

In conclusion, the matriculation exams do not reflect the real knowledge of the student and in order to see the students' full knowledge of(מיותר), the education(al) system should do some changes in order to see the student's knowledge(phr. - don't repeat the same sentence over and over again, find another way to say it)

(75)

Daphna

Friendship

2010-08-31T07:10:00.000-07:00

When I think of the term "Friend", the first thing that comes to mind is trust. Trust, in every relationship is very helpful, without trust between you and your friend how you can(wo.) tell him something about your personal life.

A friend should be someone that you can feel comfortable with(ww. - in) his compny and know that no matter what he will be there for you. That means that if you do not have this feeling you can not naturally come to your friend and talk with him about every little thing, because friendship is estublish(gr. - established) on trust.

But, the most important feature of a friend should be his ability to maintain the privacy of the other. Actually, he is supposed to keep your secrets and everything you tell him should be kept between both of you,(New sentence) that means that if you tell your friend something this(ww. - it is) suppossed to be(ww. - remain) between your(מיותר) both, like a sacret(sp.) that people (verb?) between themselves.

Finally, I think that a friendship is like an agreement between the(ww. - two) people. this agreement saied(ww. +gr.) that one side (is) commited not to hurt the other side and do everything he can in order to keep your privacy and honor.

"You are ,My Friend,my companion,through good times and bad my friend, my buddy,through happy and sad,beside me you stand, beside me you walk,you are there to listen,you are there to talk,with happiness, with smiles,with pain and tears,I know you will be there,throughout the years!" (Facebook)

This is better. Good work.

(80)

Daphna

Formal Letter

2010-04-14T22:18:00.000-07:00

12th Bialik street

Holon.

April 15th 2010.

See the World agency,

N.O. 9562

New-York, NY.

Dear Sir./Madam,

My name is Dana. I am 24 years old and I have just complited my degree in Psycology. I am interested in an organized tour to the United Stated with an English-speaking guide.

I would like to have an adventurous tour that will include places like "Diseny World" park , "Wet 'n Wild" and the "Busch Gardens". Moreover, I would like to take part in mountains clambing and ice-skating, if it's possible. Furthermore, I would be gratfull if the tour would include some caltural things, like museums.

I would like to know about the hotels we will stay in and the specific places we will trevel in. Moreover, it will be nice to know how we will move from one place to another.

I look forward to a prompt replay.

Truly yours,

Dana Alin.

Nice and simple. Well done!

(90)

Daphna

FORMAL LETTER

2010-04-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

42 Bialik Street,

Holon,

April 4th, 2010.

The Manager

YourVoice station

12 Shazar Street,

Holon.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I'm writing you because I would like to suggest a format for a program for your station. The show will focus on teenagers and their problems, The teenagers will send faxes or phone the radio station and discribe their problem and the program will try to find them a solution.

The idea for the program came from all the problems that exist in their lives and the difficultiy to talk about them. The teens will call the program and express their feelings, The idea of the program came from their personality that dont let them express themselfs infront of familer faces.

Moreover, in the show teenagers will get the feeling that someone is really interested in their lives and really wanted to help them. Furthermore, through the radio other teens, that might have the same problem will be able to listen and learn from the advice.

I look forward to a prompt reply.

Yours truly,

Dana Lev.

(70)

Daphna

2010-03-03T22:33:00.000-08:00

The last trip my classmates and I went on was to "Migal". The trip took place on January 11th and 12th, 2010. "Migal" is a research center that is located in Tel-Hai.I really had a good time there.

When we arrived at)the research center we entered a lecture about the human body in biology. (New sentence) after that we made our own brindash, that by the way was very tasty. Later on, we went to the "Tel Hai Hostel", At night we had another session, but this time about chimestry, we had a lot of experiments even those who glow in the dark.

In(ww. - On) the second day, we came back to "Migal" and we had another lectures(מיותר) such as(ww. - about) the effections(מיותר) of the pomegranate on our health and brain, then we has(ww + gr.) some(ww. - an) experiment about sugar. Before we go(gr.) back to Holon, we went(ww. - visited) to (the) winery of "Ramat Hagolan" , there(ww. - where) we saw all the long process that the wine need(gr.) to pass(ww.) untile he go out for sales(phr. - until it is ready to go out to the market) .

Finally, I had a great time there and also learn(gr.) a lot of interesting things, like that the pomergranate help(gr.) to engine(ww. - prevent) cancer.

(60)
Daphna

Letter of Complaint

2010-03-03T07:39:00.000-08:00

26 Senkar street,

Holon

March 1st, 2010

EasyGo travel agnecy,

12 Bialik street

Tel-Aviv.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have been traveling with your agency for almost 10 years and I have always been satisfied, but the latest trip I went to(ww. - on) was taribble(sp.-terrible). It was exactly reversed from what was poblished(sp.-published) in your website. Inspite of recieving a 5 stars hotel as you said, we were given a lame hotel that has(ww+gr. -was) nearly(ww. - not even) 3 stars, and our guide's explainations weren't clear enough.

As I said, when we arived(sp.) at the hotel we discoverd, suprisingly, that the hotel we were given was dirty, the beds in the rooms were unsutiably (sp. - unsuitable) for sleeping. Moreover, when we wanted to get into our showers we discoverd that there was cold water and there was no light at(ww. - on) the first day we stay in(מיותר).

Furthermore, our tour guide was very moody and whenever we asked him any question about any site, he didn't answer and if we asked him to go to any(ww.) site that was mentioned in your website, he just ingnored us.

To conclude, I hope this unhappy experience would not be(מיותר) repited(sp.+gr. - repeat) itself. Also, your company will be needed(phr. - I expect your company...) to give me some compensation for the grift(sp.) I had.

I look forward to a prompt replay.

Truly yours,

Tom Shild.

Better

(75)

Daphna

2010-01-28T04:40:00.000-08:00

5 Bareket Street

Holon

February 3ed. 2010

Teens' Hotline
26 Borochove Sreet
Tel-Aviv

Dear Sir/Madam,

I would like to volunteer to your organization, "Teens' Hotline" which, as I read last week, helps teenagers with any problems in their lives.

I'm aproaching you because your association concluds all the things that I'm good at, and as I said I really want to volunteer to your organization. When ever any of my friends needs me I'm there to support them and give them advice, that I think will help them solve their problems.

Moreover, apart from giving them advice, I also know to keep their secrets. I see in your organization the opportunity to do what I love, listenning to people's problems and giving them advice and also helping teenagers in their lives.

I look forward to your reply.

Yours truly,
Anna Alias.

It's still too short and too general, but better.

(80)

Daphna

Learning without Walls.

2009-12-29T01:16:00.002-08:00

How its(gr.-does it) look like? Studying without books, notebooks, classrooms, chairs and tables.It's easy, virtual classes threw(sp.- through) the internet. In order to join this new program all you need is to get its address and go on line to its site on the net.

Undoubtedly, virtual schools have many advantages from many aspects. Financially, virtual schools save a lot of money. Learning in a virtual school can cost 4,300$ when the cost in traditional public school can get to 9,100$. Moreover, learning in a virtual school can give the student the opportunity to learn the material at his own pace.

Inspite of all those benefits, learning in virtual schools can be a difficulty for those who do not know how to use a computer. Another reason is that the material would not be so clear threw(sp.) the net and the student will understand wrongly the material(phr.- will not understand it) - why is that?.

Finally, I think that virtual schools are very unique and help students learn in a better way the subjects.This way of learning with the computer could make children actually like "school".

Beter. But, you still haven't answered my question at the end of paragraph 3.
(87)
Daphna

2009-12-03T04:43:00.000-08:00

12 Anilevitch Street

Holon

Decemner 3rd ,2009

Ms. Gilat Simon

Principal
Kugel High School

1 Mota Gor Street

Dear Madam,

Each year, in the 11th grade, schools give the opportunity to join a group of Israeli students and teachers going on a trip to Poland, and I, as a student in the 11th grade, think that the price is very expensive(ww. - too high).

First of all, this trip to Poland is very important for us, as Isreali teenagers.Poland is part of our history, and as a part of that it's our necessity(ww. - obligation) to see what happened there. but, with(מיותר) this expensive price (makes it impossible to) going(gr. - go) out on this journey make it nearly impossible to take part in(מיותר).

Moreover, there are a lot of teenagers who want to take part in this experience and do not have a lot of(ww. - enough - or cannot afford to...) money to spend in order to get into this journey.

In my opinion, and as a student in the 11th grade, the price should be cheaper. The school should find a financer from outer factor(phr.) like the municipality.

(Express your hope for a prompt reply before you end your letter)

Truly YOurs,

Rinat (add second name as well).

It's better, but it still needs some work.

(75)

Daphna

A Summer's reading

2009-11-05T04:26:00.000-08:00

In the story "A Summer's Reading" we get to know George, who is one of the main characters in the story. George is a young man who finds himself out of school and out of the education system because of his personality and his personal philosophy.

In the sroty, we get to know George's sister, Sophie, who resembles George, a tall bony girl. From the description of Sophie we can imagine how George looks like, a bony, tall boy, who is twenty years old. He does not have a job and does not read at all, except from some magazines and fact stories. George lives above a butcher store in the Bronx, New York.

George's personality is typical to his behavior, he is a lazy boy, without any hope to achieve a better future. In addition, George is embarrassed in the lack of his education and in his meetings with Mr. Cattanzara he lies to him and tells him that he is reading books. Mr. Cattanzara helped George change becaus he is the only one who actually treated with a comprehension and encouraged him.

Along the story we encounter the different behaviors of George. He postpones his assignments and he is unwilling to change his life and receive education even if it starts from books. He is unwilling even to get the chance to successed in his life, but after all the story showed me that everting is possible and you will succeed only if you want this.

(68)
Daphna

The thorn birds

2009-10-22T05:41:00.000-07:00

"The thorn birds" is one of the greatest, exciting and unique stories that I have ever read in my life. It was written by Colleen McCullough. The tone of the storty is really thoughtful, along all the stoty the reader can see love problems that that end up in a tragic way.

At the beginning of the story, the reader gets to know Megan Cleary and her poor family who lived in New Zealand and move to Australia to help their elderly aunt, Mary Carson, run a sheep station in the Outback. Their lives improve economically and socially with the introduction of Ralph de Bricassart, a kind hearted Roman Catholic priest that has a soft spot for Megan.

Megan and Ralph's meeting risambles the golden period in Megan's life, when she is finally getting the attention she deserves and craves, and Ralph sees no problem in giving these things to Megan because she is still a little girl. As Megan grows up her relationship with Ralph got complicated. Mary Carson's death takes the story one step further. She leave her estate to Ralph, which promots him to leave the presence of Megan to pursue a more prestigious position in the Catholic Church. The relationship between Megan and Ralph comes to the end with a tragic way.

The story helped me to imagine how lives were in another country and time. The descriptions in the Thorn Birds are gorgeous and it is very easy to imagine all the story and actually feel all the emotions in the story. I probably don’t need to tell you after all this that I loved the book, but I will anyway- over all the story teach me all about emotions and unrequited love.

(80)
Daphna

Stay under control!

2009-10-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

Where ever you would go, each part of the day, you couild hear about food. Food-the only thing that, no matter what, will never change. The energy that the human body needs is received from what we eat - this means that we should eat healthy food in order to have a healthy life. Obviously, the food manufacturers should be more responsible for what they are producing, to protect the costumer's life.

As I see it, food should be produced from healthy products in order to help us grow up and be in a good health situation.It's manufacturers should serve that the food produces from healthy things, like vitamins.

For one thing, the food we eat affects our health, physically and mentally and if something happened to a person it's because of the manufacturers. In addition, healthy food helps to improve people's lives and behavior.As much as you provide your body healthy food you can think much better and be more tolerant and patient.

In conclusion, food affects people's lives totally and could make them more healthy, actually it could make them turn around completely, Have an easy life without worring for your health, know that we eat healthy things that help for the human body.

(70)
Daphna

2009-09-17T04:55:00.000-07:00

Hogo Arnest 13

Holon

September 20,2009

The Editor

Haaretz

P.O Box 1563

Jerusalem

Dear Editor,

Conecerning the article "Barak: Israel wants Shalit home, but not at any cost" , I would like to express my oposition to Barak's words. I think that he shouldn't have said it becuase Shalit has a family that wants him home, as soon as posible. Shalit is an Israeli solider who was captured on the 25th of June, 2006 by palestinian militants near the Gaza Strip. In those days, Israel is leading negotiations in order to bring him back.

All around Isreal you can hear "bring Shalit home" but the truth is that he will come back home, but not at any price. It has been already 4 years and he is still not here. The goveronment don't do anything but state that Israel want Shalit home, however not at any cost.

When I think about Gilad and his family it makes me furios. I think that the country showed apathy for Gilad's case and his family. In addition, I'm sure that if the son of the prime minister were in Shalit's situation, a day wouldn't pass without bringing him back home.

Finally, I hope that the country will do its best and all the efforts in order to bring him back home. I just hope that Gilad will come back home soon, and his family could celebrate his next birthday with him.

Yours,

Rinat Kararo.

This is bette, however, some grammatical errors have to be corrected.

(87)

Daphna

Stories with no ending

2009-09-13T06:35:00.000-07:00

Where ever you go, every where around the world, you can hear about one manifestation that has no stop- Traffic Accidents! A day could not pass without hearing about at least one accident that happened on the paved roads.

There are many reasons that lead to the traffic accidents. One of them is the unintentionally of drivers from the road. Also, it could be the exhaustion of the driver or the pressure he is in, but all those reasons are not half of the causes.

2.6 million people in Paris died from illnesses and traffic accidents, from those 2.6 million 10 percent because of the accidents. That data was discovered from a study that took place in Paris. Another study shows that between city and rural village, the cities are much more safe than the rural. The risk to die in fatal accidents is higher in the rural villages than in the cities.

In conclusion, we can see that traffic accidents are very common around the world and cause a lot of damages. I would like to hear about one day that pase without one traffic accidents.

(85)
Daphna

(http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/09/090907142506.htm)
(http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5gBu_xbvsrue1ZZb1ATQLccGm3JBQ)

One more birthday without him

2009-08-31T03:59:00.000-07:00

Gilad Shalit is an Israeli solider who was captured on 25th June 2006 by palestinians militants near the Gaza Strip. Shalit since then has been held hostage by Hamas. On the 28th of August his family mentioned his fourth birthday far from them. In those days, Israel is leading negotiations in order to bring him back. How can a country wait all this time without doing it's maximum efforts to bring one boy in the middle of his military service?

All around Isreal you can hear "bring Shalit home" but the truth is that he will come back home but not at any price. It's already nearly 4 years and he is still not here. The goveronment didn't do any thing but state that Israel wanted Shalit home, but not at any cost.

When I think about Gilad and his family it makes me furios. I think that the country showed apathy to Gilad's case and his family. In addition, I'm sure that if the son of the prime minister were in Shalit's situation a day wouldn't pass without bringing him back home.

Finally, I hope that the country will do its best and all the efforts in order to bring him back home. I just hope that Gilad will come back home soon, and his family could celebrate his next birthday with him.

(http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1110266.html)

90
Daphna

Using in Technology-How to do It?

2009-06-04T05:22:00.000-07:00

Do you know what is facebook? I hope so, but if you don't facebook is one of the most populare website. People use facebook to comunicate each other or to meet new people from other places. This sound graet no? no! because some people use facebook in order to distribute hate groups.

Every "cool" teenager have facebook, and can be contect to his friend all day long' but when some of the teenafers hate something, he has a great opportunity to distribute his hates between other teenafers. He uses thefaceook to attrect people to hate something and ting exacty how he wated to make them tink- this makes oter people depended in others thoughts and becomes populare only becouse the have the "same" thought- hate other people.

"It's only a joke, I really don't mean to any thing that I said!", we all used in this sentance some time, but now when a kid say it after he create or particpate in hate goups we realy don't velieve him any more- he do what he think is good for hin, what he thought will help him to fit together with oter kids.

Facebook, in his first day had a compitly differnet propuse- comunication between people and make them love each other and get to know who they really are, but know with all thoes hate groups its come out of control. Inside to conect between people he make tem fight and hate each other.

דפנה, בבקשה בידקי לי שוב את העבודות הקודמות, תיקנתי שוב.. קריאה מהנה!

רינת(:

School Uniform- Do we realy need them?

2009-05-09T06:35:00.000-07:00

School uniforms make all the students equal by their looks and prevent adolescents to be judged be his or her look. Schools support this idea because it gives the students an opportunity to fit together with other students. However, students do not agree with this theory.

People who support school uniforms believe that students in this way can choose their friends by their personality without judging each other by his(ww. - their) clothing. In addition, wearing school uniforms are not take time in the morning. When the student wakes up he doesn't need to spend time to choose what he will wear today - he has the uniform!

As opposed to that, there are a lot of people who are against school uniforms. School uniforms prevent from the students self-expression. The way people dress expresses who they are and how they feel. Moreover, when everybody dresses the same way how people can(wo.) get to know that the way they act is really them.

In conclusion school uniformes has two shdes- the one who support wearing school uniform and te one who aginst it. Allsides have some right arguments that secuses their believes.

Please complete and correct your work.
Daphna.
(60)

Mr. and Mrs. McCall

2009-04-12T03:07:00.000-07:00

In the story of Mr. Burge McCall, the readers are exposed to two main characters - Mr. Burge McCall and his wife, Mrs. McCall. The story describes the relationship between Mr. McCall and his wife. Mr. McCall is described in the story as a fat, short man, with a loud voice. He is a stingy man to his wife but very generous to himself and other women. In addition, he is very violent, a lady killer and selfish. His wife, Mrs. McCall, is a tall, thin woman with black hair and big black eyes. As opposed to Mr. McCall, she doesn't like to talk a lot. Actually, Mr. McCall and Mrs. McCall are the opposites of each other.

Right at the beginning of the story the reader can understand that Mr. and Mrs. McCall live together with a lot of fear and suspense between them: "Burge McCall hated his wife". Every day, when he comes back from work he always calls her names, expecting to fight with her, but she never answers back, she just looks at him: "Burge McCall never could understand his wife Mrs. McCall. When he called her names she never answered. Burg McCall was used to women who called him names right back...But Mrs. McCall would only look at him…". One day, Mr. McCall slapped his wife on her face, and then she called him a big rat and said that he would regret all he had done to her. Here we get into the turning point in the relationship of the two, when Burge McCall found out that his wife bought rat poison.

In the second part of the story, Mr. McCall stared to treat his wife well. He didn't call her names any more, only because he was scared of her. He started to buy her presents, go out with her only to make his wife satisfied: "He got to taking her to the movies and to picnics. He always spoke nicely to her, because he didn't want to upset her." Even the way Mrs. McCall looked at Mr. McCall changed: "He noticed her eyes were smiling at him."

Finally, the McCall's had an unusual relationship that started with a lot of hatred and fights, and became the most loving and caring relationship. I think that the McCall's had a strange relationship that end on the good side only because Mr. McCall was scared of his wife.

This is much-much better. Well done.
(85)
Daphna.

The journy against homework

2009-02-26T02:59:00.000-08:00

Students at school know exactly what homework is, what its purpose is and if it really helps. Actually, it lost its purpose a long tome ago. When the child just goes to school, he has all the energy to study but after some time he loses his energy.

After reading the article in CBS news, that talks about an 11 year old boy, who studies in elementary school and decides to show the world his opinion about homework, we can get a better prespective on them. He says that homework does not help anyone and he can't see the reason to do them.

When I think about homework, it really helps the students. It makes the student open his notebook and understand much better the material. Moreover, homework can reflect the student's knowledge. If he does his homework with precipitating , or not. In addition, homework helps the student understand the material much better.

Finally, homework promotes the students, helps them understand the material. Actually, we can see in the homework some kind of an indication to see which of the students do their tasks and which of them do not- it's a test to show responsibility.

This is much better, except for your third paragraph which is not entirely clear.
(80)
Daphna.

Space Exploration.

2009-02-12T03:00:00.000-08:00

Have you ever thought about space? Have you ever wanted to be in space? Do you think that space exploration can help humanity? Space exploration helps to get more information about life in another world. Through the years all the knowledge about space is increased. When people think about space exploration they earn advantages and disadvantages.
On the one hand, when people think about space exploration they think about the future. Each year the number of people on Earth is increasing and one day the place on Earth wouldn't be enough. So space would provide us a place to live on. In addition, at the time that the space exploration is taking place humanity earns knowledge about living in another place, another world. On the other hand, space exploration causes damage to space. Humanity interferes in space, trying to get some information in a way that. causes damages. Humanity sent people to space and with some new inventions that made astronauts lives more easily on space but they terrific the environment on space.Moreover, space exploration requires a lot of money that goes to develop things that can help the astronauts to stay in space, like suits and equipment for the astronauts.
Finally, space exploration causes a lot of damage, more than its benefits. It's helps humanity but also causes a lot of damage to space.

You still have quite a few grammar mistakes and some of your sentences need rephrasing. I tried to make it clearer inorder for you to correct more easily your work. (65)
Daphna.

Do what you want!

2009-02-05T02:59:00.000-08:00

You go outside with your friends and they want to take drugs. In your opinion taking drugs is a wrong decision .You are afraid from the way your body will responed to the drug and even more that your parents will notice that you are using the drugs. What will you do? Take drugs and be "cool", or stay true to yourself?

This example shows us a situation in which you are under "peer pressure". Peer pressure is a situaton in which people in your age try to influence your decisions to the bad side.

I think that peer-pressure is not good and you shouldn't listen to your peers whenever they try to influence your decision. For example, your friends are planning to go out at night to some discotheque and your parents don't let you go. On the one hand, your parents don't let you go and you respect their decision inspite the fact that you do not agree with them. On the other hand, your friends try to influence your decision and in some way help you sneak out from your house and come with them to the discotheque. What should you do? So, you should listen to your parents becuase they are adults and they are responsible for you and your friends just need to understand you.

Finally, peer pressure is something that you can't change and everybody is effected by it. You should pay attention to what you do and get to know what the perfect solution to your problem is.

This is better, but still needs work. Please correct your essay again. (75)
Daphna.

2009-01-15T03:07:00.000-08:00

15.1.2009

Dear Shani,

I read avout your problem concerning you and your friends . I understood that you are going for some trip whitch includes claimb over a very high mountain and you don't have any expiriene in this.

As you probably think, your problem don't have any solution, but first you should try to think of your problem as it doen't yours.Try to think what you would say to the person who has this problem and you probably get your perfect solution.

So, I guse you want to hear my advice. I think that your safty is the most important thing you should care about, and in order to protect it you should talk with you friends and tell them that you don't want to take part in this activity. Shani, I'm sure you have really good friends and they will understand you and will respect your decision.

I hope I could help you, and you could also get the opertonity to look on your life and make the right decision for you.

Good luck,

Rinat.

After 8 years no more "silece"

2009-01-07T07:38:00.000-08:00

Here, from the center of Israel, we can't really feel the feeling of being under attack in this war against the Hamas, but we all should help as much as we can. As everybody heard, Israel is in the middle of war, after 8 years in which Israel did not react, just sat and let the Palestinians attack Sderot. Now the time has come. Now it's our time to give the confidence back to the people of Sderot. I think that we all should support this war and help as much as we can. I know that everybody wants to live a normal life without running away every minute to a bomb shelter. I also know that now Israel's population is very united and I am sure that our military can protect the citizens of this country.

2008-12-31T07:17:00.000-08:00

17.12.08
.

Dear Avital,

I apologize for not answering you sooner, but I was busy with my coming back from Germany. I needed to organizing my things and put everything in its place. I'm really sorry for not answering you on time.

As I told you before, I just returned from Germany. It was the most amazing, challenging and frightening experience. When we got there, we went directly to the hosting families. You are probably asking yourself why we went to the hosting families intend of going to hotels…so it’s an exchanges program, therefore its proposed was to know how other people live and act in their lives.

You probably asked yourself why this experience was not only amazing, and why it was so frightening…so the answer is that we almost got lost in the center of Munich. That's happenned because we missed our meeting point and we went to the other side of the city. So you definitely find yourself asking how we got back to our group and find out that we were not in the appropriate place… So when we were in the center of Munich we walked a lot and didn't notice that we missed the hour of our meeting with the group so we went to the first road we saw and after a 15 or 20 minutes that we walked we saw that we were in the wrong place. Then we asked some Germans that went there where was the place of our meeting point and no one could help us and our phones were out of catching. After a few minutes we found a person that knew where our meeting was point and he also helpt ous to get there.

Finally, we found our group, and I am sure thet you could feel that I really had a good time there. Well, it's getting late, so I have to say goodbye. Write me soon.

Yours,
Rinat

The day and the night- What is rather?

2008-12-04T06:30:00.000-08:00

I chose to discribe to animals that represent two other worlds. The first is the Bat, a night animal and the othe is the Chimpanzee- a regular animale, acting almost like the humens.
The Bat-
The Bat is a night animal. That means that over the day hours he sleeps and in the night he manages his life normally.

The bat is a friendly animal that lives in a community that concludes more than a million bats. They also mixs sometimes with other groups of bats, in this way they can learn more about the other's lives and get to know how to mange a better life.

The Bat is an animal that lives 20 years. The birth of the young bat occurs after two months in the mother's body. After the birth of one bat he is still near his mom that takes him from one place to another.He gets to a point in which he can mange his life by himself with his group without using his mom. The bats are considered as the mammals group of animals. Along the night the bat gets his food- some of them eat fruits and others eat insects.

On the other hand we have the Chimpanzees.
The chimpanzee-
The Chimpanzee is a common animal that manages his life along the day hours and sleeps during the night.

The weight of the chimpanzees is between 40 to 65 kilograms. Males can measure up to 160 centimeter and females up to 130 centimeter. His body is covered by a coarse dark brown hair, expect for the face, fingers, toes, palms of the hands and soles of the feet.

The chimpanzees live in communities whitch contains 20 to 150 chimpanzees. But sometimes the groups spuilt in to one group of men' the second contains old females. The males protect all the members in the community and search for some food.

A simple exchange

2008-11-13T02:58:00.000-08:00

Last summer vacation I traveled to Munich, Germmany as a part of a student exchange progrem from "Eilon high-school". The progrem was supported by the "Eye&I" organization. I traveled with my cousin and stayed there for 12 days. We slept in a Germman house and had the enormous experience that bring us the possibility to get to know what other people do in their lives.

Munich is an ancient city that distroyed in the second world war and reconstructed to be the same as she used to. When we got there we tourd to the English garden - an amazing green place, with a lot of trees and benches to sit on. from there we went to the celebration of Munich for it's 850's anniversary.We saw a show of a germman rock-band. There we got the opportunity to see a little bit from the germmans life. We even went to a "Beer-Garden" that ther is considerd as an entertainment center which people used to go to.actually it's liks a coffee shop as we call it here.

In Munich, we had the chance to see another world that helps us to grow up and get used to an other life and experiences.

Finally, I got an enormous experience to see the germmans on another point of view as a helpful, smailes and caring humans.

About My other life

2008-10-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

Had you got to met a person and know him without even talking with him?

In effect, I met someone and her name is Avital and she is my best friend. and she is tall, thin and has a black hair.

Avital and I met last year in September but didn't get to know each other until we were starting to talk. Now, she is an inseparable part in my life. When I talk with her I feel that she understands me and withoud judge me for my mistaks. She is her for me when ever I need her, even when she gets angry ,she helps me.

Avital was born on May 22nd, 1993 and lives in Holon. She is a sensetive, caring person who can easily nake you trust on. Now, in those days, a day can't pass if we aren't talk on the phone and hard that evrythig is Ok in the other's life, it's ecually bacame to be a mormal part of our day. When she is sad I get noticed befor she said it.

Finally, I got a present from God and it's having a best friend, someone who is with you every time and you know that you could trust on and this person has a name- Avital, and I just want to say her is one word and it's -thanks .

About me

2008-09-25T15:22:00.000-07:00

My name is Rinat, I'm 15 years old and live in Israel.

During my spare time in the holidays I love to watch television and meet my friends, but the thing I love to do the most is shopping and talking on the telephone.In the last year I also started to volunteer in a youth movement which called "Hatzav" and means Youth Holon's in Activity. There I use like a guide.

In school I love my friends and its quite strange to say it but without school my life would be boring. I prefer the English lessons(although it's sometines too hard for me), Mathematics and Computer Science. The English lessons I love because I love to talk in English, the Mathematics lessons I love because of the exercises and the Computer Science I love because I love computers.

Now, we are standing infront of a new year in Israel and I just wanted to wish a Happy new year to all the people around the world and have a good year in school. For myself I just want have a good year at school and have some good luck with meeting new friends. Finally, you can see that I am a normal girl and that I have normal hobbies that just want to grow up to be a better person that czn change a little bit in the world.